A woman called last week on behalf of her 90-year-old mother.
â€śMy mom said your column was the worst article sheâ€™d ever read in her 67 years of subscribing to the paper,â€ť she said. â€śI agree with her. She asks if you would please keep it clean from now on.â€ť
She was referring to the column set at the beach where I thought I saw a woman crossing the street who may have been showing more of her dĂ©colletage than she was aware of.
I didnâ€™t know if this was true â€” we were 50 feet apart â€” but given that men are men and respond to visual cues, the possibility was arresting.
Another reader asked whether I would write the same article if a man exposed himself. Probably not, because in addition to being a misdemeanor and a much more troubling subject, itâ€™s challenging to find the humor in it.
I seem to be hitting my stride at not amusing people as I did in the same column with Mary Dundas when I suggested that perhaps the woman was unaware that she was not fully clothed because she was losing her marbles.
â€śI realize that folksy expressions and ‘good olâ€™ boy’ humor are staples of your writing, but isnâ€™t it time to retire ‘losing their marbles’ to describe a person who probably is suffering from dementia or mental illness? You can get chuckles without mocking people.â€ť
Good point, but I would more likely lose the expression â€ślosing your marblesâ€ť not because I am worried about offending people â€” attempts at humor, no matter how feeble, risk that â€”Â but because the expression is a cliche and pretty tuckered out.
The column on the artistic future of the stump I had dug up in the backyard got a surprising number of responses. Like Michelangelo and the block of marble, I am looking for a shape, figure or activity within the stump that the artist â€” me â€” could reveal by chipping, whittling or carving.
â€śYour stump is OBVIOUSLY a male and female sea monster couple in love. You’re welcome!,â€ť wrote Beth Morse.
Susan Adams suggested that the stump looked like a woman sitting on a manâ€™s lap and Larry Dunn said â€śThis is Adam and Eve striding away from Eden. Eve, slightly forward, has her left foot forward and her left arm swinging out to clear away obstacles.â€ť
Obstacles? There might be some.
Jim Harris opted for the more literal approach writing: â€śIt looks like a stump. Burn it. Best wishes, Jim.â€ť
The column on getting my cannabis card and buying CBD oil (one of the plantâ€™s ingredients said to reduce inflammation) for my knee elicited this response from Colleen Peyton:
â€śYou can buy CBD products from a store on F St. without getting a medical marijuana card. CBD products without THC is legal without a card.
“I am surprised at how many patients are using it for pain relief, a nice alternative to narcotics.â€ť
Then a final note from â€śA Readerâ€ť: “Dear Herb or now Dear Medicinal Herb,
“There is more than one dispensary on Rosedale Highway. BAHC is at 9021. BAHC has your medicated Sasquatch for $60 but I recommend Herbal Mountain Cannabis Pain Relief Therapy skin cream for just $15.â€ť
I think Sasquatch may have helped the pain. Itâ€™s hard to know after 10 weeks because things often get better, they either get better or they donâ€™t and you take them to the grave with you.
If nothing else, after applying Sasquatch, my knee smelled good.
TV recommendation and there is a lot of good TV these days that no one can get to but if you have a gap in your list try â€śThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.â€ť
A young housewife in the late 1950s living in New York tries to become a standup comedian after her husband walks out on her.
Itâ€™s good, funny and available on Amazon Prime.